we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
