Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
