he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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