I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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