Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
40s are totally the cure
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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