maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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