i just wanna soil my oats bro
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
