Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
