I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
