Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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