You work out of a Hotel?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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