My hand turned me down
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
