i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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