I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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