I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My cat gives me a boner
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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