grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
