he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
