would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
