Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
