I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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