the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
