If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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