I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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