all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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