The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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