is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
