i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
