I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
