2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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