nut hugger
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
