Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
