I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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