Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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