i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
it hurts more in the daytime
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
