this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
