and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
