we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
