Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
