So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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