I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
