Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
