weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
