your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
