kristin has been a bad kristin
only you would photoshop your dick
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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