I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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