I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
