Plan B is the new Plan A
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
