are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
birth control should be required to get into college
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
