She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
