why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
