I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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