one two three fourrrrnication!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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