I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
