you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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