i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
