What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Let's get the cat blown out
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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