Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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