That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
