Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
