i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
