Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
