she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize