Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
