She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
