Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
