THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
