are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
