If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My life is pants optional.
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