Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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