I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
