Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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