She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
