I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
