Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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