Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He passed out mid-signature
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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