guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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