It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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