please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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